Middle school students poured through the doors of the Charlotte Middle school. They were seventh, and eighth graders filling the hallway. I know I am not the best in school, but I do try. Very hard, in fact. It comes so easy for some people and I just don't get it. How can kids understand things when they're nearly floating off the page? It is so confusing. The teachers try to tell me the difference between 'W' and 'M' ? I mean, they're always switching places! If they were trying to get it into my head, you would think they would at least tell me how to compare, and tell the difference. I'm am only good at one subject in my whole entire school. It's art. Art comes to me so clearly! It is anything you want it to be! I see the other kids coming, and going, but I'm just staying put. I'm staying still like a squirming person in quick sand. Yeah, that's what it is. I'm stuck in quick sand moving around, trying to get out but i just stay put, and slowly grow to become further into the mud. I'm just trapped. The teachers don't understand me, and neither do my parents. They call me stupid. I just don't get things like they do. I wish I could only-I wish I could only unn
There was always that cabin on the other side of the lake. It was sometimes a beautiful family, living among its strong, steady, structure. Or other times it was that kind of house that just gave you a feeling of fear inside. You would know not to be scared, but still have a fear about what it is housing. It was 1993, and I was driving out to the house. It seemed forever since I actually entered our large cabin. It was one of those things you loved the sound of, you loved being able to say that was one of your traditions. But there was always something pulling you away from it.
I drove around the circled lake, and passed 7 or 8 houses. Then came that old, abandoned cabin. My car came to a stop. I wasn't sure why, so I stepped out. I was only about 50 feet from the house. Not my own, but the spooky, unknown one. I walked with one foot at a time, until the stairs leading to the front door, sat shallow, in front of me. I took a deep breathe, and without a word being said, I took the 3 steps that brought me inside the house. Right before me, a few ghostly figures swept them selves fast across the room. Then behind me, the door flung shut.
The noise that came from beyond my room beckoned for me to explore. I slipped out of of my silk sheets, and opened my door only to reveal darkness, and the loud creak.
A sudden noise came from the guest room. I stepped through the door, and without another thought, I reached for the light switch. Flicking it on, I then sat on the bed, taking a moment to catch my wandering thoughts. A sound came from the bulb, then seconds later it, without hesitation, it shut off. I was still sitting on the bed, half in shock, collecting myself, to try and get back to bed. I stood up, and headed for the door, It was closed. Looking at the old bedroom, from the 1800's, it always gave me an un-easy feeling. But right now it was different. I stared into the blank darkness. It was only the thought that sent me shivers, Had the once alive guest not yet departed?
I put down my book- escaping my fairy tale, and stepping into reality. The feeling of being hated by all of my old friends made me push the razor blade in deeper, as the blood rushed down my palm, my face cringed up. The names I was known for echoed in my head. They weren't the names I liked- but the words coming from the devil himself. My ginger-pale skin made me stand out in Charlotte- even in the winter. My red hair glowed off my skin in the sunlight. Ever since my mothers death the world has been darker- as if it wasn't open for me to breathe its rough air. My dad hated me- because I lost his trust while hanging out with some of my x-best friends. We did stuff he didn't approve.. And my stepmother? Oh, she hated me. But at the same time...she was the only one who loved me. Who listened to me, but she cannot know I feel that way. It would only lead to months of therapy and counseling. That just makes me feel more alone in this world.. In this whole entire universe.
I had just realized what time it was.. So I had to exit my thoughts. School started at 7:00, and it was 6:20. I was lucky that I lived next door to my school on times like this. I had to get dresses, I chose the most 'normal' outfit for me- some blue jeans, and a shirt with my favorite bands' face plastered across the front. I got on twitter, and looked at BVB's most recent post. (Black Veild Brides). I quickly tweeted them back, secretly hoping one day they would notice me:
"Every bands' members get into arguments.
It'll blow over soon enough! Love you all! xxx"
Afterwards, I shut my laptop, and quickly applied dark layers of eyeliner on my eyelids, followed by Maskera. I had to get going. I opened the doors of my school, after the first bell rang. Which meant we had 5 minutes to get to class.